It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.
— The Man in The Arena by Theodore Roosevelt
Just let it sink in. I did. It hurts. It heals. Read it again. I just did. It still hurts. It still heals. Now, sit back, and breathe. Just let it sink in.
Last night I got a chance to have a late night coffee date with my best friend, Alisa. She’s amazing y’all, and not just because of what I’m about to tell you, but just because SHE IS. Honestly, I get kinda nervous when I meet up with Alisa. I get nervous because I know she’ll ask me how I’m doing. And I know that when she does, I can’t lie or hide from her. She’s way too safe a friend for that. I know that no matter what I tell her, she won’t judge me or dictate to me a solution for everything or try to draw more information out of me until I’m ready to make that leap for myself. And I know that as I tell her whatever it is I tell her, she’s listening. Soaking it in, holding my words in her hands and heart, caring for them as they escape the deep recesses of my heart. And when it’s all said and done, she’s got that patient smile and those words of peace and comfort that remind me that I’m not alone. Last night was no different . . . well, except that she shared the Teddy Roosevelt quote with me. She knew I needed it. She knew it would challenge and nourish me all at the same time.
FILE UNDER: Books Every Human Being Should Own
In light of the struggles I shared with her, she shared with me the Man in the Arena excerpt and more from the book she’s been reading recently, called DARING GREATLY by Brene Brown. I was challenged, inspired, and encouraged on a whole new level, just from her reading the 1st two pages of the book. As she read the introduction, I felt like I needed to pay for at least half of the cost of the book because even thatsmall snippet revolutionized my heart and mind. I even mentioned to her that I need to set aside the current books I’m reading and just pick this one up and get to it! . . . but I won’t. The books I’m reading right now are part of the work I’m doing with my therapist and I don’t want to interfere with that wonderful terrible work by adding another thing into my already crazy-busy-outta-control-in-all-the-best-worst-ways lifestyle. I need to do a lot more breathing right now and a lot less taking on of new endeavors . . . so DARING GREATLY is just going to have to wait. However, I did get this sucker waiting for me in my e-mail inbox when I got home!
This, plus my membership is how I scored a $26 + tax book for a whopping $13.93! 😀 Thanks, B&N!
I don’t think I need to tell you what I bought with it. It was the PERFECT gift at the PERFECT time. You see, yesterday was a bad day. Someone lied to me and I believed it . . . ALL DAY. My heart was hurting and my mind was searching for wisdom that kept slipping away. I got lost in a haze of negative self-talk and recited the lie until it became my mantra. With this proverbial monkey on my back, I adopted the lie into my heart, where it strategically leached all of my joy, hope, peace, and strength away. Thankfully, I’ve learned to let certain “safe” people into my life, and in return they have helped to show me the lie and remind me that it’s my choice to believe it or not and that I DO have the power to shut it down—more importantly, that God already shut it down and doesn’t want me to pick it back up.
As I got ready for bed, I set SHANE & SHANE’S song, WITHOUT YOUon repeat and mediated on the words to Man in the Arena. I prayed for clarity, wisdom, vision, freedom, and the courage to heal through vulnerability, honesty, and obedience to the things God was daring me to do. I decided to dare something great. I decided that I was going to wake up the next day, and not believe the lie. I wasn’t going to try to please everyone. I wasn’t going to try to be perfect. I wasn’t going to try to be “normal.” I wasn’t going to hide in shame and hurt. I wasn’t going to fear failure.
And so today, I am daring to run hard and fast away from the lies. I wrote this on my ride-in to work today and I want to share it with you. It is vulnerable and honest. It is my second daring move of the day. The first being getting all dressed up. The third will be hitting that PUBLISH button and not immediately deleting this post.
“THE PRETTY UGLY”
Yesterday I felt ugly.
I felt empty. Alone. Unwanted. Unworthy.
I listened to lies all day.
They grew and I became ugly.
I became empty. Alone. Unwanted. Unworthy.
I thought that the lies came from her mouth, but they didn’t.
The lies came from my only sworn enemy.
He tricked me again. And again. And again.
He always knows where to hit hardest.
But what he doesn’t know is that even when he leads me to believe that I’m ugly,
I’m pretty.
I’m pretty sure that “This too shall pass.”
I’m pretty thankful that God made a way.
I’m pretty confident that soon
I’ll be able to crawl out of the mud pits and onto the white sands,
letting go of the lies and clinging to Truth.
I’m pretty sure it’s not the last time.
I’m pretty sure I’ll keep training and getting stronger.
The training is trusting. The training is letting go and breathing.
It’s dancing on graves. It’s boxing the darkness. It’s cleaning off the mirror.
I’m pretty convinced it’s going to get uglier.
Then again, I’m pretty grateful that I’m not alone.
I’m pretty sure that someone wants me.
And I’m pretty confident that sooner than later, it’ll be me.
amo.says 