amo.says

my life in my words


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Now

I’ll be honest—lately, I’ve been in a funk. I’ve been feeling pretty low, whiny, and defeated. I know I have no right to, nor am I at a place in life where I should be “allowed” to feel that way. I have people in my life who would say that I’m being ridiculous because I’m feeling sorry for myself. They might even label me ‘near-sighted’ because I only see my problems and not those of others in third-world countries, struggling with poverty and disease. They would berate me for not caring about others and being ignorant to the needs that other people have—selfish to the core . . . and they’re right, I probably am. In fact, I most definitely am. I admit wholeheartedly that I am 100% a selfish, arrogant, prideful, and ignorant human being. I have weaknesses to the nines, and it’s those weaknesses that remind me daily that I am so very, very, very, VERY, much in need of a Savior. I am in need of a pure example of servant-hood laced unconditional love—the love that only Christ could give—through His Word, through prayers, and through true friends who aren’t afraid to hold me when I’m ugly. You see, even us selfish, arrogant, prideful, ignorant human beings have a deep-seeded urge to get out of our funks and being “encouraged” and “guilt-tripped” with tough love isn’t always the answer.

Sometimes the answer is a “running buddy” who will remind you of the truth of who you are as whole person and as a follower of Christ. I’m thankful for my running buddies. It is through their e-mails, texts, and coffee dates that I see what lies on the other side of the darkness—they are light and fresh breath! And not because they make me feel good about myself, but because they tell me what they’re hopeful of in their future. They share powerful Scripture verses  and testimonies of what God is doing in their lives and those challenge each of us to love deeper and give greater. They don’t offer answers or questions—they listen and we move on. They share their dreams, weaknesses, funny anecdotes, and fashion tips 😉 And for a hot second, I’m reminded that no matter what crap is happening in my heart and mind, there is SO much beauty and life in front of me. The beauty and life that comes with true friendship + community also serves as fuel to get me out of my funk and back into the ring, ready to fight for more life, hope, and freedom!!

 

Enjoying a much-needed Girl’s Night In, watching The Help with my sweet friend Cindy L.! Viva le sleepovers!

“Running tunes” help too!

Every once in a while you find that one song that just “gets” you.

It becomes an anthem.
A homing device.
A life-preserver.
A lighthouse beacon as you’re drowning in the deep dark seas.
That’s what Paramore’s NOW has been for me.

These lyrics have been racing through my head ever since I first heard the new single and bought it. I listen to it in the morning when I’m getting ready, reminding myself that the day is ready for the taking. I listen to it while I’m doing work projects, reminding me that I’ll be back at my jobs sooner than later. It’s on repeat when I’m doing my PT exercises, reminding me not to quit when I feel lazy. The words to this song pretty much sum up every bit of emotion that I’ve been facing lately. I’ve never been a patient girl, and limitations don’t suit me. I’ve definitely learned to slow down and take it easy, but deep down inside, I was born to fight. It kills me to see people out my window running to catch the bus, and at the gym jumping rope and dancing along in Zumba class, because I still can’t do those things . . . yet!

A couple of weeks ago, I had my housemate drop me off at a coffee shop and while I was in that coffee shop, an older lady that also had a cane with her looked over at me, then looked at my cane, and then looked back at her book and just shook her head. She didn’t say a word to me. I don’t know what she was thinking, but the look on her face was one of disdain, maybe even laced with unbelief. I got so frustrated and upset because I felt that I was being judged for my weakness. Once again, this cane had made me feel “less than.” And then I looked back at my computer and turned on THE RESOLUTION by Jack’s Mannequin and said to myself, “Don’t worry lady, I won’t have this for very much longer! I’m going to beat this!” If I were in that situation again today, and I was actually able to do it, I’d jump up on a table with my cane and do an impromptu “Love Is A Battlefield” style dance number in front of that lady . . . to Paramore’s NOW.

PNLyrics

 

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It's a retro kinda Monday . . .

It’s a retro kinda Monday . . .

I had a WONDERFUL weekend full of good times and good treats.
For instance, yesterday, my friend Robert dropped me off at Barnes and Noble so that I could sit in a coffee shop and think through some things that have been going on in my life that I need to wrestle with. It felt incredible to get out of my house and sit in a cafe and drink hot tea
(I highly recommend the Hot Cinnamon Spice by Harney & Sons) that I didn’t have to microwave and to enjoy a piping hot bowl of chili!
Oh the little things I once took for granted.

So what better way to kick off the new week than to share some goodies with you?! Enjoy!

I got to have Christmas Breakfast with one of my 2Twelve Students and his family!

The Millers are an awesome family that have taken me in and covered me in love and guidance. Now that I’m not under house arrest, Mrs. Miller was more than willing to have me over for a special Christmas celebratory dinner. One thing you should know about me by now is that I LOVE breakfast. Any time of the day. I’m a sucker for eggs, turkey sausage, pancakes, fresh fruit, etc. Any time—actual breakfast, lunch, or dinner! So, in following up with my previous brunch party hosted by my amazing G-Mama, the Millers also treated me to a delicious Vegetable Egg Bake, Fresh Fruit, Bacon, and Coffee Cake! Another thing you should know about me is my breakdown of favorite fruits, cause well, I HEART FRUIT!!

  1. Pineapples
  2. Strawberries
  3. Honey Crisp Apples (okay, okay, and apples in general)
  4. Grapes
  5. Blueberries

What’s extra cool is that, knowing how much I ADORE Christmas (hello, we STILL have our tree up at the house), they left their Christmas decorations up so that I could enjoy them as well. *swoon*

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Learning ADRIFT from Jedi Master B—, one of my 2Twelve Student Leaders!

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I fell in love with their sweet pup pup, Danny!

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Basking in the warm glow of the beautiful lights

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I totally want to do this when I get a place of my own!

My buddy, Jolly, had me in stitches with this hilarious comic strip!

Seriously, at this point, I just gotta laugh to keep from crying 😉

Ha-larious!

Ha-larious!

 

I celebrated Birthdays with my family thanks to technology!

I’ll be brutally honest—this holiday season took SO much out of me emotionally! I MISS MY FAMILY LIKE NO ONE’S BUSINESS!!!
It’s true. As much as I’ve tried to tell myself that I’m good on my own and I don’t need to have constant contact with my family, I do. I need them. Even when I feel they don’t need me or that I don’t really “need” them to get through tough seasons of life, I do. I got to Skype with them during the holidays but it’s not the same. A computer screen is no substitute for a hug or a snuggle or a good cry sesh. It’s also no substitute for family comfort food, relaxing walks in downtown Austin, or Mamo’s Christmas cookies. Over the past few days, my mom and my youngest niece both celebrated their Birthdays. While I couldn’t be there in person, my sibs made sure to send me pics. I cannot even begin to tell you how bittersweet these pics are. I’m stoked that my mom was treated to a delicious dinner and that my niece got a super cute new pet, but I wish I could have been there as well. I did spend a good amount of time at B&N last night with the water works going because I realized that I wouldn’t get to give my niece Birthday snuggles. The good news is that I’ll get to spend 4th of July weekend with them (AND FIREWORKS!!!!!) this year!

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My mom and sis celebrating my mom’s 20th Birthday ;p

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My sibs and nieces

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my youngest niece chompin’ down on some good ‘ol Tex Mex

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My sister and the girls . . .such beauties . . . and ummmm booties 😉

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My bro bro and my oldest niece

For once in my life, I am actually factually jealous of a bunny rabbit . . . mostly because this wascaly wabbit, Lola (her present), gets to snuggle with my sweet niece on her 4th Birthday! ♥ PS: You can tell we’re related because she also walks around with no pants on 😉

I got to go out for coffee & shopping with my best friend, the Magster!

I got to finally reconnect with my bestie after a stretch of busy seasons. Yesterday in youth group, I taught the students about how a true friend cares about your INSIDE more than your OUTSIDE and the Magster is definitely one of those friends to me, as well as one I reciprocate that with. On Saturday, she treated me to coffee at ZOKA in Greenlake (trust me, if you can get your hands on a Zoka roast, you’ve got GOLD!) and some sock shopping at THE SOCK MONSTER. She finished it up in true friend fashion and grabbed some groceries for me for this week. 🙂

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Amazeballs! . . . errrr Grounds.

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Tea Maxi anyone?!?

Peanut butta’, Zoka time with mah homegirl, the Magster

 

New Fun Socks!!! DEFINITELY a treat!

New Fun Socks!!! DEFINITELY a treat!

My friend Alisa shared this with me.
I DARE you not to laugh as you read the reviews!

No really. Go. Now. Read. LAUGH!!!!

Playmobil Security Check Point

(click through to read hilarious reviews)

I am officially a Seahawks Poser!

I went shopping with my friend Heather the other day in search of some Seahawks colored clothing to wear to church on Sunday to stand in solidarity with the sports fanatics that attend Westside. Heather spotted this AWESOME sweatshirt and I got to wear it for the big game day. Unfortunately, I missed the game. Partially because I was teaching youth during the majority of it and partially because afterward, I was wiped out and needed to go home and take a nap. I slept through the game 😦 Having watched a couple of Texas games this season, I don’t feel TOO bad about missing this one. At least I got the sweatshirt, though, right?!? 😉

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I actually LOVE the style of the sweatshirt too!

Who’s ready to get wild & crazy and cheer on the Hawks?!? This Amo right here!!! Ohhh bed head and face mask, you are mah heroes 😉

 

My friend Kat is now officially a blogger!

You should definitely head over to THE WIFELY ADVENTURER and subscribe.
She’s got so much snark, wisdom, and great stories to share!

Have you downloaded the new Chris Tomlin album yet? If not, get on it!

 

(click through to listen on Spotify)

I cannot get enough of this gem. My fave songs are:

  • AWAKE MY SOUL
  • GOD’S GREAT DANCE FLOOR
  • JESUS, SON OF GOD
  • THANK YOU FOR SAVING ME

 

Yeah, and that’s only SOME of the fun!
For now, I’m gearing up for a good, strong week ahead as I start to make trips back into the workplaces I once frequented.
And now I MUSTACHE you a question . . .

 

Amo—little, yellow, different. 😉

 

How was YOUR weekend?
Did you do anything exciting?!?


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Better Than I Used To Be | Happy New Year’s 2013!

What could be better than ringing in the New Year with your best friend?

 

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3 peas in a pod 😀

Ringing it in with REAL Texas BBQ . . . and my favorite coffee (Stumptown Hair Bender) for New Year’s Day breakfast! 😉

 

My NYE party platter | Nothing says Happy New Year like real Texas BBQ! Viva la 2013!

 

Look, it’s the way the world should be, okay! hahahaha. If you read/watched yesterday’s blog post, you’ll know that I have some exciting news to share with you regarding my health update and what my new word for the year is. Well, don’t think for a minute that I forgot! Here it is, ENJOY!

 

 

My new word for 2013!

My new word for 2013

 

One way I’m going to start is with the one thing the majority of us tend to focus on during the New Year—food resolutions. (Judge me all you want—this is about renewing my body and my health.) These past few weeks have been crammed with emotional eating . . . cookies, pies, gingerbread men, candy, ice cream, fatty foods, and more. But I’m taking a tip from a nutrition blog I follow and I’m personally making this JUNK-FREE JANUARY. That’s right, back to my healthy eating habits I go. You know why? I’ve DISCOVERED over the past few days, that my body actually hates that junk. I’ve been walking around for the past few days with sugar-cramps, bloating, and nausea. It’s no bueno. So it’s back to freshness! And although in the past year, I let the comments of many around me dictate what I eat or don’t eat and how I exercise or don’t, this year is different. This year is about making wise choices for MYSELF and letting others deal with their own choices and attitudes. I’ll admit, the 2 weeks in the hospital took away a lot of poundage and now that I’m packing them back on, it’s going to be a bit easier to maintain, but I’m not putting junk back in my body just “because I can.” And that goes for more than just food. It goes for activities, habits, certain relationships, mindsets, and more.

 

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Another way I’m going to start the cycle of RENEWAL is by following my therapist’s advice. I am going to start knitting! :O She wants me to start knitting so that I can learn to be okay with being imperfect. You see, perfection is something I struggle with A LOT! The past 31 years of my life have trained me to focus on striving for “perfection” when I really need to focus on being “good enough.” So my super creative therapist suggested I take up knitting, and since I trust her and feel compelled to dare to try something new, I’m going to do it! So be on the lookout for some new posts this year featuring some of my best and worst attempts 😉

 

 

Gettin' down to the Knitty Gritty

Gettin’ down to the Knitty Gritty

 

There are a lot of things I want to do this year, but more importantly, there are a lot of things I want to BE this year. This is a year of RENEWAL. To slow down; To breathe deep; To trust; To put things back where they belong; To embrace True Love; To surrender; To dare greatly; To look in AND up; To throw out the old and knit the new in every aspect of my life. I only hope you’ll stick around with me as we journey through this new year of life, striving to be “good enough” human beings!

Happy New Year, y’all!

 

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One Happy Amo wishing you an awesome sauce 2013!

. . . and now I’m off to enjoy some Black-Eyed Peas, greens, and The Dark Knight Rises! 😉