Wow, I mean 2020 is almost over, but did I nail it when I went with RESILIENCE as my word for the year, or what?!? It hasn’t quite been what I was expecting, but then again, when is it ever?
So much has happened globally and locally since I last posted—which I guess is what happens when you wait nearly six months to blog again. Honestly, the past few months have been a whirlwind of highs, lows, tragedy, and hope. Living through this pandemic has been one of the most confusing, frustrating, and introspective seasons of my life. So many are up in arms about being asked to help keep our communities safe and healthy and it’s weighed so heavy on my heart. Some of my extended family members have died from COVID19, and it’s heartbreaking to see people become so callous and indifferent to what’s at stake for people around them. As someone in the high-risk category, I’ve had to limit my everyday activities and shift my expectations. I’ve had to make many sacrifices, but I’ve also been blessed with the opportunity to work from home, so I realize there is a privilege there. Still, I’m so grateful for everyone who is taking this virus seriously.
Amid the onslaught of the virus taking its toll on our world and our Nation continuously waking up to the longstanding atrocities facing those in the margins, things happening personally and locally have also been hitting my heart pretty hard. The month of September brought so much loss and heartbreak on a personal level. My church went through a significant shift. Our building lender, AG Financial (Assemblies Of God), decided to terminate our lease and rent it to another church in our area that offered to pay more. (All this while we were still in the building and planning our return to in-person services in October.) This left me in a place of not just grieving the loss of our church building—which we had poured so much blood, sweat, and tears into—but also the greater loss of faith in and respect for religious institutions and leaders whose underhanded practices led to the loss of our building. Still, perhaps the more significant shift was the transition of losing one of our Lead Pastors and seeing our other Lead Pastor rise to take the helm of this church I love so deeply. You can read more about that by swiping through the Instagram post below. Although the shift has rocked everything we had before, the Eikon staff and I are excited to continue leading and loving our faith community as we move forward.
And as it happens, life has thrown another curveball in the mix—my birthday is today—on Election Day! I probably don’t need to explain to you the tension that so many are facing as we await the results of this election—I’m feeling it too. I have already decided that no matter who our next President is, I will continue to remain fully present in my community. I will continue advocating, donating to social justice causes, marching, and working to abolish toxic systems that perpetuate patriarchy, xenophobia, homophobia, white supremacy, and oppression of those in the margins. And though I’ve already cast my ballot, I’ve also developed a mental health plan for today and the rest of the week. If there is one thing I’ve leaned into heavily this year, it’s resilience routines. I know that I need to take care of my head, my heart, and my body so that I can face the waves that rush in to take over my life. Last night I soaked in lavender bath salts and listened to soothing music to calm my body and mind from the stress of the unknown. I also got to enjoy a sweet Birthday lunch with my dad and brother on Sunday for some much needed family time. And the bonus is that my awesome housemates are treating me to a dinner of burgers + key lime pie (my FAVES! #PieOverCakeAnyDay), so it’s sure to be a relaxing and fun celebration as I walk into the big 39.
In the words of Lin Manuel Miranda, “In the eye of a hurricane, there is quiet. For just a moment, a yellow sky.” And there have been a lot of ways I’ve been developing resilience during all the chaos. I’ve been setting healthy boundaries in relationships, giving myself a lot of grace to grow through shortcomings, eating well, working out, and creating a good sleeping routine. I admit, over the past few months, I have been slacking on reading my monthly fiction books. Honestly, with our church going through so much turmoil and transition, that daily practice has fallen to the wayside. There’s so much to catch up on and pivot towards, but I will keep moving forward and doing my best to pick that habit back up and build more resilience along the way.
Speaking of moving forward, I’m about to make a big move . . . into an apartment! Yep, you heard that right. In just a couple of months, I will be moving out of The White’s House (the last name of my housemates is White) and into a two-bedroom apartment in the area that I’ll share with my nieces for at least a year! This pandemic has hit so many people hard—my sister included—and while I won’t share any of the details here, my family and I are hopeful that the girls’ time with me will be filled with peace, love, and flourishing as their mom continues to do her best to get back on her feet. One phrase I’ve grown accustomed to throughout this pandemic has been, “We’re all just doing the best we can with what we have.” and these words have never rung more true for my family and me. So as I close out this blog post and finish filling out my apartment application form, I wanted to let you know that if you are interested in giving me a Birthday gift, the girls and I have put together a housewarming registry at:
As we prepare for the big move soon, if there’s something on this list that you feel compelled to purchase, please do. However, what’s needed more than anything is gift cards. That way, if there’s something we missed or something we can wait to get, we can purchase as needed through gift cards. And before you let guilt begin to set in, I am fully aware that we are still in the middle of a pandemic and financial struggles, and I am not expecting ANY gifts. But some have asked, and I wanted to make it available to those who did feel they could contribute at this time or in the near future. If you aren’t able to at this time, please do not feel obligated. Please know that your friendship and the fact that you read these wild blogs I write is gift enough. Thank you for your time and attention and for joining me on the journey. Here’s to a new year of life and a new adventure in parenting!
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