Some call it unraveling.
Some call it questioning.
Or doubting . . . or examining . . . or reimagining . . . or evolving faith.
And many call it deconstructing faith.
And many in Evangelical Christian spaces call it a slippery slope . . . or heresy, a falling away, apostasy.
They condemn it. They are outraged by it. They use it as their whipping boy.
But why?
Why is the Evangelical Christian community so threatened by the concept of “faith deconstruction” that they would belittle those who are actively or have deconstructed their faith? And why would they automatically assume that any person who has deconstructed their faith will never reconstruct some of the pieces to reflect God more vibrantly in their everyday faith practices?
In the Bible, Jesus leads the way saying, “You have heard it said ________, but I say __________.” So why are Evangelical Christians so opposed to the idea that someone might rethink some of the problematic theology and toxic ideologies they have been handed down to them by people they trusted to lead them well?
I recently had the opportunity to talk with Craig and Steven from the MEET ME AT THE TABLE Podcast. They invited me to share some personal reflections as a pastor who has done significant faith deconstruction and has remained in a pastoral role in a Christian church. I want to begin by saying that the faith deconstruction community is not a monolith. Each person who has dared to embark on a faith deconstruction journey has their reasons, their own lived experiences, and their own held beliefs, which I believe are valid and worthy of respect. With that said, you can click the link below to listen in on our conversation about faith deconstruction, why the Evangelical church fears it, and what the church can do to support someone who is deconstructing.
Here are some things that have fueled my own personal faith deconstruction through the years:
- Pastors/religious leaders using scripture to condemn sexual assault/domestic violence victims and herald their abusers
- Pastors/religious leaders who refuse to let you ask questions about the deeper meanings and cultures in the Bible
- Pastors/religious leaders who abuse their authority to oppress and prey on those in marginalized communities
- Pastors/religious leaders who preach politics that oppress those in marginalized communities
- Pastors/religious leaders who preach Christian Nationalism
- Pastors/religious leaders who gaslight/bully others in person and online
- Religious organizations that promote sexism, racism, purity culture, ablism, ageism, and patriarchy in word or deed.
- Religious organizations that shame you for body positivity
- Religious leaders and organizations that commercialize attending church or practicing faith.
- Religious leaders who push you down at the altar and then call it “the wind of the Holy Spirit,” and then blame you for not fully surrendering because you’re not falling under the pressure.
- Personal in-depth studies on racism in the church, LGBTQ+ affirmation, colonialism in the church, heaven and hell, and more.
And though I have left behind pieces of the ideologies and theology I used to engage in, I have also reconstructed many things in my deconstruction journey and discovered a vibrant, flourishing faith. Nowadays, my faith is not in religious systems and leaders, but in the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit I had loved so profoundly all along—even when toxic religious ideologies and problematic theology overshadowed them. That faith and love guides me and empowers me as I do the important work in a pastoring role to provide radical spaces of Christ-like inclusion for people from all walks of life.
As a Pastor, I know the importance of leading and serving your people well, and I have endeavored to grow in that through the years. There have been times—especially early on in my faith—where I was not great at it. But when I have been called out or when I have heard of the ways my actions have harmed others, I have apologized and made things right. I believe that those in religious leadership positions owe it to their faith community to be authentic, humble, and accountable to the things they preach and live out. I believe that when the church hurts people, they should own up to it, ask big questions of themselves/about their practices, and make systemic changes. And if someone does decide that they want to leave your church, or that they don’t believe in God or the Bible or whatever, leave them in love. Honor their decision and let them know you are available to them if they ever need prayer or just support along the way.
When it comes to discussions on faith beliefs and deconstruction, I am not afraid to agree to disagree. In fact, I believe that can be a very healthy approach to create thriving relationships with people of faith (or who do not ascribe to any faith). But until those in Evangelical Christian spaces are willing to humbly and actively listen without judgement to someone who has questions/doubts about what they are reading in the Bible -VS- what they are hearing preached -VS- what is being lived out -VS- what they are seeing in real time in their family/friend/community spaces, Evangelical spaces will continue to be known as the crowd yelling “Crucify Him!” and not those weeping at the foot of the cross sharing the legacy of the Jewish Messiah from Nazareth who gave His life to bring liberation and healing to all.
Artist: @ganbrood
If you are currently deconstructing and looking for some folks that you can get connected to and learn more from in a safe space, check out:
And if you listened to the podcast and thought I was joking about the hate from Christians once our church made the move to become an LGBTQ+ church, here are just a small handful of responses . . . there are hundreds saved in my files. And every time, it serves as a reminder of who I never want to be ever again as a person of faith.
TW: homophobia, violence, abusive language
amo.says 