Juliet & Romeo

“A book is a gift you can open again and again.”

– Garrison Keillor

 

Last year, I did something equally outrageous and awesome (to me). I challenged myself to take on a goal that would typically be a turn-off. I apprehensively committed to reading Fiction books instead of my standard Self-Help, Leadership, and Cultural Studies books. I’m sure that doesn’t sound like a leap to you, but to me, it was a GIANT leap.

I’m typically not a patient person, so waiting to find out how a story ends doesn’t appeal to me. What I love about my tried and true book categories is that I can find answers and insights into real-life situations immediately. However, at some point last year, I realized that while I had a ton of information swirling in my head, I needed a bit of a brain break. I needed to deviate from the norm to bring some balance to my mind. So I did it. I took the leap. I leaped . . . and in an honest moment, it wasn’t too terrible. It did take some time to get into each book I tried, but by about the 3/4 mark of every one of them, I found myself hooked and wanting to know what happens next! I also want every single one of them to be turned into a movie because they were all that good, in my opinion.

 

Here are some reflections from the books I read in 2019:

 

ELEANOR OLIPHANT IS COMPLETELY FINE

This book was recommended to me in 2018, but I hesitated because, first of all, it’s fiction, and second of all, I knew it dealt with family issues, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to walk into that world. But this story grabbed my heart, and I fell in love with all the characters. I felt it was very well written, and it’s a story I think more people need to read to understand the power of looking past the ordinary people we interact with daily.

 

WHERE THE CRAWDADS SING

I loved the mystery in this book! The primary story focuses on the mysterious death of an upper-class white man with much prestige in their small North Carolina town. Which is part of the reason that everyone suspects the lower-class swamp folk. There were so many moments where I thought I knew who the murderer was, but then a hole was shot through my theories. When the case was solved, it blew me away—I. Did. Not. See. That. Coming. This one fed into my love of CSI and detective shows. There are rumors . . . and rumors of rumors . . . that this will soon be made into a movie, and I am so here for it!

 

THE GREAT ALONE

I have friends that live in Alaska, and after reading this book—they are warriors, and I wish them the best! Following this literary journey of a girl named Leni and how her family makes a last-ditch attempt to start over in a new place was pretty wild. There were so many instances where, as I read the book, I could taste, imagine, and feel the things that the featured characters were experiencing. The story was very compelling, and there were many times while reading that I couldn’t put it down . . . I just needed to see what happens next . . . right now! While I won’t be making a move to The Last Frontier anytime soon, it was a treat to join Leni and her loved ones on their journey.

 

I know, I know . . . THREE books don’t seem like a big deal, but for me, it truly is. As I pursue RESILIENCE in 2020, I wanted to step up my game and not just give myself a broad challenge. I want to put some feet to this endeavor and attempt to finish one book each month. I know that if I keep putting it off, it just won’t happen. To get better at this, I created a GoodReads account (amosays).

The book I’m reading for January is THE CARE AND FEEDING OF RAVENOUSLY HUNGRY GIRLS. It moved a little slow in the beginning, and I almost gave up on it because I’m forever impatient, but now it’s picking up, and I’m curious to see how it all ends.  I hope to keep a running series of updates with my thoughts from these monthly books as part of the RESILIENCE blog series. Wish me luck and let me know what other great books I should check out!

Loved | Welcome 2020!

Do you dream of a home you never had
An innocence that you cannot get back
The pain is real
You can’t erase it
Sooner or later you have to face it down
You have to face it down.
You are loved
Do you keep your thoughts inside your head
Will you regret the things you never said
You have a voice
You have to use it
You have a choice
Don’t let them shut you down

— Loved, JJ Heller

 

 

I first met my friend Shannon at my previous church in Seattle. At the time, she and her husband were fostering two amazing kids and were new to our church. I got her kids connected to our kids and youth ministries, and I just absolutely fell in love with their family. Shannon and her husband, Aaron, have such a great relationship and family dynamic! Their two—now adopted—kids are some of the sweetest you’ll ever meet. When I was beginning my fostering journey, their daughter excitedly offered to help me get everything ready for me to welcome my first child—a teen girl just like her! Shannon and I shared many coffee dates chatting about the REAL REAL REAL journey of foster care—ups, downs, upside downs, and beyond—and she gave me great practical advice on how the system works, what I should do, what I shouldn’t do, how to take care of yourself in the middle of it all, etc. Not only was she an excellent guide along that journey, but she has been a gracious friend through and through.

 

 

 

Shannon now operates a business called STACK OF STONES that benefits first responders and provides excellent support for those who sacrifice for their community. As I was praying and seeking the Lord for my focal word for 2020, a post from the STACK OF STONES Instagram page kept coming back to me. I felt drawn to it, and I believed that the Lord was calling me to focus on one of the words featured in the post. That word is RESILIENCE. The original post said this:

 

After reading it the first time, I felt something click in regards to the term self-care and growth. This concept of Resilience Routines resonated with me so much I immediately began replacing the term self-care with resilience routines in my mind. For me, the term ‘self-care’ started as a good reminder to be good to myself (which is definitely still a struggle to live out) but the more popular the phrase was in culture, the more it became muddied in my mind. All of a sudden ‘self care’ became synonymous with the words ‘excess’ and ‘material’ and ‘replacement feelings.’ Please hear me when I say that I do not think that ‘self-care’ is a bad term to use—if you resonate better with that term and apply it to live a more wholehearted life dedicated to being good to yourself—please keep doing it!  Please do not let my personal realizations keep you from doing what is wise and best for you on your own journey. I’m simply admitting that for my brain, I needed this shift in focus. For me personally, ‘self-care’ became momentary and ‘resilience routines’ became lasting. I don’t just want to do things that make me feel happy in the moment. I want to begin building routines that will help me bounce back and keep going when the water gets deep, the journey is long, and the road is hard. So when it came time to decide on a focal word for 2020, I knew (for better or worse) RESILIENCE was it!

 

This past year rocked me a lot and there were more times than not where I would lose pieces of myself in the midst of it. There were many experiences of loss, grief, and disappointment. I’ve spent a lot of time this past year minimizing my self, my heart, and my soul, and I’ve decided that I don’t want to stay put in those places. I want this next year to be different (again, for better or worse). I’m still dusting off pieces of my heart and soul and most days I have to dig deep to put one foot in front of the others, but I want to dedicate this next year to moving forward.  As I was thinking about this year ahead and how to incorporate the word RESILIENCE intentionally into it, I came across this infographic:

 

I realize that I want to build all of these things into my life, but that’s a LOT to tackle at once. So instead, I’m going to break them down over the year into manageable bites. On top of normalizing consistent resilience routines into my life, I want to focus on these each month in the following ways:

• JANUARY: Assess and goal set for mental + physical well-being
• FEBRUARY: Assess and goal set for changing behaviors and creating healthier work habits
• MARCH: Understanding & promoting a healthier self-esteem
• APRIL: Learning from mistakes & resetting boundaries
• MAY: Understanding & accepting my own strengths and weaknesses
• JUNE: Developing greater self-control
• JULY: Developing willingness to overcome difficulties rather than avoiding problems
• AUGUST: Developing more optimistic thinking patterns
• SEPTEMBER: Developing social skills & ability to seek assistance from others
• OCTOBER: Recognizing my own emotions and those of others
• NOVEMBER: Develop lasting problem solving skills
• DECEMBER: Celebrate growth

This is going to be a massive undertaking for me . . . but I do love a good challenge. I hope that you’ll lean in and check in on me as I walk this road. I hope you’ll find insight, inspiration, and hope through the stories I share along the way. I invite you to pray for me as I take this journey. Here’s to a year of RESILIENCE!