amo.says

my life in my words


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Party People

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Sweet treats for a sweet journey.

How do you celebrate when you haven’t even met the very person that’s going to be sharing all of the presents with you? You have an Adoption Shower, of course. Well, an #AMOdoption Shower, to be exact!

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One of the two Timeline Boards I had hanging up at the shower, noting milestones along the #AMOdoption journey thus far and also featuring photos of my new apartment!

Last night, my former housemates, David & Lauren, hosted an incredible evening filled with dear friends, delicious desserts, and dozens of treasures that will be used to create a home that Kiddo can call their own . . . when they get here!

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The other Timeline Board I had hanging up at the shower, noting milestones along the #AMOdoption journey thus far, showing who my adoption specialist with Bethany Christian Services is, and featuring more photos of my new apartment!

During the party, I got a chance to celebrate the beauty of family and parenthood with a large group of people who have helped me to get from one point on the journey to the other. They’ve believed in me and supported me every step along the way—with encouragement, with prayer, with listening ears, with generous monetary gifts, and with a ‘tribal’ sense of belonging. Being surrounded by such a lovely family of friends during one of the most exciting and unknown seasons of my life was just what I needed while I play ‘The Waiting Game.’ I shared with those attending that I have finally completed the Home Studies and my Specialist has sent my Home Study Report to the State Licensor for review and approval. The approval process should take anywhere from 2 weeks to 1 mont, but considering that I’m looking to foster-adopt a teenager, it’s anticipated that it will be closer to 2 weeks than the entire month. As of now, we are anticipating a placement (day that a child comes into my home to stay) of mid-late September!

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Sharing with guests about the journey from there-to-here and answering questions about what’s to come. Such wonderful friends!!

Being a parent is something I’ve always dreamed of and anticipated with open arms, but now it’s all coming so seemingly fast and my excitement level is through the roof! I consider it an honor to be a parent. While I know that stepping into this role will be equal parts challenging and blessed, I have no true fears walking into it. Sure I have natural concerns—will they understand how much they’re loved & valued? will they enjoy living with me? will they find their voice in this family and see me as a parent they can trust?  My biggest prayer and dream for this season of my life is to help my Kiddo understand their value and to choose to live life with purpose as a well-rounded human being who doesn’t let circumstances prevent them from being the best version of themselves. I find complete confidence and encouragement in knowing that this family of friends that I’ve surrounded myself with in Seattle is ready and willing to join me in doing just that!

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Some words of encouragement from some of those attending  . . .

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I even had a sweet exchange with one of my 2Twelve students who wasn’t able to attend the party but wanted to convey his encouragement and support!

I’ll admit, I wasn’t sure what an “Adoption Shower” would look like, since I wasn’t actually giving birth or celebrating a marriage, but rather preparing to welcome in a great teen that I’ve never met before. Still, my mind was blown not just by the sweet encouragements and laughs shared during the night, but by the overwhelming supply of housewares and gift cards that will help provide a greater sense of well-being for Kiddo. What’s even greater is that I know how much love, thought, and care was put in choosing gifts and writing cards that touched my heart. My friends are seriously the best!

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What I love most about this loot is that each gift/card comes from someone who has thought about Kiddo, prayed for kiddo, and believes in Kiddo’s success + purpose as much as I do!

And now, as I pick up last-minute items and get the house even more prepared for Kiddo’s arrival, I wait. Wait in prayer, believing that God is going to do great things through Kiddo and through this family. Wait in hope that all goes smoothly with the licensing and Family Team Meeting. Wait in love, ready to shower Kiddo with unconditional love and acceptance, more than willing to cover them in open arms. Wait in anticipation for the time to come when Kiddo finally gets to walk through the doors of my home and it officially becomes OUR home!

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B-B-B-Benny and the Jets! Kudos to the hostess with the mostess!

Many thanks to Lauren and David for hosting, and to everyone who attended! I also want to thank those who were unable to attend, but sent their well wishes and encouragements along. You all make my life so full! 

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Just some of the many attendees for the #AMOdoption Shower!


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Something Wild

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I did something a few days ago that is equally frightening and exciting . . . 

No, no, I didn’t try to do a cartwheel on my broken toe . . .
Nor did I attempt to make a paper mâché liger . . .

No, no . . . I . . .

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downloaded a Back-To-School Supply List!!!

That’s right, in about a month (or so) I’m going to be a mom—to an amazing teenager!! After my 3rd Homestudy visit last week, we talked timeline and the guesstimated placement of a kiddo in my home will be the beginning or middle of September. Right now, I’m rushing to get things ready for my home inspection this upcoming Friday. At the same time, I’m preparing for our annual Vacation Bible School next week, a visit from my dad over the next two weeks, and prepping curriculum/leaders for Westside Kids and 2Twelve Student Ministries to launch a new school year soon. Did I mention that all of this is happening as I’m recovering from a broken toe & toe surgery? Yeah, I guess you could say I’m an overachiever . . . or insane, either works. 😉

I am beyond amazed by the incredible support I’ve received from friends and family during this time of chaotic transition. The meals, the moving help, the unpacking and building help, help from our Westside Kids/2Twelve team, help from co-workers at #TheOld9to5, the prayers, the laughs, the hugs—all of it has meant the world to me! And now as I am a month away from getting the apartment ready for Kiddo to join the party, I’m reaching out to ask if any of you would consider helping me build a great home by contributing some home furnishing/family needs. Many have asked how they can help and what needs I still have before Kiddo gets here, and to help with that, I’ve created some registries and other support options. Here they are:

PRAYER REQUESTS:

  • A smooth transition from their previous living arrangement into my apartment
  • That the foster/adoption grants that I’m applying for go through, to help offset the agency and court costs
  • For Kiddo to feel welcome, wanted, and valued in my family/friend community
  • Wisdom in parenting, community building, family rhythm setting, and self-care
  • That there will be a lessened strain on ministry/work life in the transition

 

GIFT/CARD CONTRIBUTIONS:

Gift cards in any amount to any of the following places will be greatly appreciated:
Target, IKEA, Wal-Mart, QFC, Fred Meyer, Amazon, Regal Cinema, Starbucks

Additionally, if you would like to write an encouraging/inspirational note to Kiddo, you are more than welcome to!

If you need my mailing address for cards/gift cards, please send me a private message on my FACEBOOK.

 

GIFT REGISTRIES:

At Target: Amo’s Housewarming Registry

At IKEA: Shopping List

At Amazon: AMOdoption Shower

 

I know that we are all in different seasons of life, so please know that any of the supports listed above (regardless of money spent) is greatly appreciated! Thank you for everything you are doing to help build a safe, caring, environment for a precious child to become part of a forever family!

 

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Just Like Fire

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. . . 2 more days until I look at yet another possible apartment.

. . . 13 more days until I begin my three (3hr) Home Study Interviews

. . . 25 more days until I (tentatively) move to a new home.

. . . 48 more days until I leave for my family reunion in Austin, Texas.

. . . approximately 75 more days until foster care pre-placement activities begin.

. . . 80 more days of going in to work 2 extra hours at #TheOl9to5 so that I can get paid for all the time I’ll be missing at work while I’m in Texas, at VBS, and when ‘kiddo’ comes into my home for placement.

. . . 82 more days until our Vacation Bible School begins

To say that time flies is a giant understatement for me right now. Even as I sit here typing this, I realize I have about 20 things left to do before I go to bed tonight. Yet all I want to do is curl up on the bed and sleep until morning comes. I realize this is just the tip of the foster-parenting iceberg and I know I can make it through this whirlwind of a season with God on my side. Still, I feel like this entire succession of events flew in quick!

Last weekend I sent in almost every bit of my licensing paperwork—except for the emergency evacuation diagram & strategy, which will come when I move. It feels SO good to be out from underneath that monstrous tower of paperwork! The countless hours and brainpower have taken a toll on my sanity, but it was SO worth it to get to here. Furthermore, I can’t help but be grateful for those who have helped me get from point A to here. From amazing people who have written foster licensing recommendations for me; to my loving friends & family who are looking forward to welcoming ‘kiddo’ to the fold; to the countless people praying for me to find just the right home to move to, and more! I feel honored and relieved to have such an incredible supportive community of friends and family holding up my arms in the middle of the battles.

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Next up comes filling out financial paperwork, applying for grants and taking on contract work to cover the rest of my foster/adoption fees (about $5,000 left to go!). Also, packing this weekend and getting as many ‘ducks in a row’ as I can before the rubber REALLY meets the road!

All along the way, I keep repeating, “I’m coming for you, kiddo! We’ll be together soon!” to myself. I get these beautifully gut-wrenching pangs of hopeful anticipation and butterflies swirl around in my stomach. Simultaneously, stars fly over my head as though I’ve been knocked on the noggin’ with a giant frying pan of all the details still needing to be managed. I’m definitely leaning into grace, hope, and trust during this season and believing that the God who began this good work will be faithful to bring it to completion in His time. The other day, I had a daydream that I was sitting with kiddo at the dinner table, explaining to them how sorry I was that it took so long for me to get to them. In that scene, I remember saying, “I had so many things I had to let God fix in my life before I could bring you in, but I promise to make it up to you in the precious moments we have left together. My life isn’t just about me anymore—it’s about you and me, together . . . finding life, love, and wholeness.” Yeah, there were plenty of tears in that daydream! Come to think of it, the tears have been pouring from my eyes like a leaky faucet these days. Oh bless.

In closing, I want to say a great big THANK YOU to every single one of you who takes the time to read about this journey, commenting on Facebook/Instagram/Twitter posts, and giving me comforting hugs when I let the doubts get the best of me. I could not ask for a greater crowd to be in my Arena as I embrace this year of PROMISE!

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Don’t You Give Up On Me

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The agency that I’m adopting through (Bethany Christian Services) utilizes a database of ‘waiting children’ from a pool of ready-to-adopt kids in the area. Ever since I began this adoption journey, I stumbled upon that particular site and did a search for kids that fit the criteria for the needs I could meet. There was this one child on there that almost immediately caught my heart—yes, my heart, not just my eyes—and I began dreaming of the day that I could be a mother to such a kiddo. Every time I see that their profile is still active (meaning that they are still awaiting adoption), my heart both breaks and dances. It breaks because I wish I could be their mommy TODAY and that they could leave the never-ending foster care system they are in. It dances because that means they are still available for me to adopt! Then, after reading the same profile over-and-over-and-over for the one millionth time, I click the “Return to Results” button and find myself scrolling through the pictures and names of other kids who are equally as lovable and I ask myself, “Why can’t I just adopt ALL of you!?!”

Over time, that list of kids has grown, and my prayers for them have increased. “God, move people to action to bring these kids into their homes to give them a forever family. Lord, let these kids know that there is still viable hope for them to be welcomed as part of a forever family. Guide them. Guard them. Bless them. Be fully present in their lives. Lead them to a love that isn’t defined by the four walls they live in, or where they came from. Help them to see that their Heavenly Father thinks the world of them and isn’t giving up on them.” That is my prayer for them . . . and for my future child.

Right now, I’m in the “Happy Butterflies Preparation” stage when the trials seem manageable—and even welcome—simply because it means I get to be a mom and see my dreams come true! Still, the odds are ever in my favor that that feeling will wear off the further down the rabbit hole I go. I’ve read so many stories of how parents have adopted teens and after an adjustment period, things seem to go well. Then, as they age and change, things escalate and they rebel and act out and take out their anger on their parents . . . so I guess they are pretty normal teens, eh? Still, parents find themselves at their wits ends, wondering if they made a mistake and looking for a way out. Look, I’m not telling you that so that we can judge them—we have no right—but rather so that you can remind me of this post when those moments come to my own home. When my child is running away, help me remember to run to God. When my child is swearing at me because I took their phone away or wouldn’t let them sleepover at their boyfriend/girlfriend’s house, help me remember to speak words of kindness, love, truth, and grace. When my child tells me that they’ll never call me mother, help me remember that even if they won’t call me one, God does.

I’m asking because I know I’ll forget in the moment. I’ll probably throw around some crap like, “Yeah, but I had no idea it would get this bad when I wrote that,” and then get back to eating my millionth macaron of solace. And in that moment, you can grab both sides of my head and remind me that even in shaky moments, my Father God is unshakable and I need to suck it up, face the music, and learn to hear the symphony on the other end of the tune-up. Don’t let me give up on this amazing opportunity to be a living gospel to a child who is worth every tear, every prayer, every smile, every moment of frustration and fear, every step it took to bring them home.

While I’m sure there will be bumps along the way, I’m definitely believing for & looking forward to the finer moments as well! You know, those moments when I celebrate silly things like passing grades, consistency in hygiene, bravery to go for tryouts/auditions, or the fact that we survived yet another first week back at school. In those moments, I’ll smile and think of all you wonderful folks who have supported me with love, care, and prayers along the way. I’ll be grateful that you didn’t give up on me, or my family, and that you chose to step in to be a living gospel to me along the way. Here’s to a PROMISING journey!

 

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