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my life in my words

This Is Living

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It’s a known fact that there is a magazine called EASY LIVING. Personally, I believe they should have called it Easier Living. While life should be loved, and lived to the fullest, I don’t necessarily think ‘easy’ means better. Sometimes easy means careless and aimless. I don’t believe that life should be careless or aimless, rather it should be filled with purpose and adventure! Helen Keller once wrote:

‘Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all.’

And oh how I totally get what she’s saying. This past week, my world has definitely turned upside down, but I’ve felt incredible peace in the midst of the chaos. My mother has been in the hospital with some serious medical struggles and it’s not easy to be miles and miles away, unable to really “DO” anything about it but pray and encourage her to keep fighting. Even as I’ve offered to fly home, relatives and doctors have assured me that there is no need and that things are getting better. She’s not 100% free of medical problems, but the red flags are definitely lowering. I give all the credit to God and the many prayers of friends/family members. One of the things that I have noticed a change in during the course of this ‘peaceful’ chaos is that my tendency to give up and expect only the worst has subsided.

Growing up was tough and left me with a mindset that “things can only get worse.” Yet through this trying season I find myself ever hopeful and believing for the best. There are definitely moments when my mind starts to get overcrowded with anxious thoughts but I pause, breathe deep, and then (honestly) repeat to myself:

 

 

Then I start recounting all of the moments that God redeemed the tough situations and proved faithful. I think back to the time I was in the hospital due to a UTI after contracting E.Coli from Guatemala. I was in a dark place, near the end of my rope—lifeless and hopeless. Then God broke through my darkness and gave me the strength and courage to reach out. He redeemed the time then and He continues to do it now.

I think back to the time I was near-death after a routine wisdom tooth extraction with an outrageous outcome. I remembered the people and the prayers that surrounded me. And I remind myself that the very same God that carried me through that season can carry me and my family through this one. He’s actually REALLY good at that. Whether we choose to allow Him to diminish the demons that ransack our hearts and minds, He is constantly making Himself available to us . . . until that moment where we throw in the towel and allow Him to show up.

I realize that not every situation has a happy ending, but I’ve been able to see some pretty significant fingerprints of God in these current circumstances. Whether things get brighter or darker, my song will be the same of Daniel 3:18. There will be no snuggling with my demons during this ‘peaceful’ chaos!

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Author: Amanda Martinez

I am a mexican chick, born in Germany, raised in Austin, TX, and now currently living in Seattle, WA. I am a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a friend, a graphic designer, a youth pastor, a comedienne, a songwriter, a screenwriter, and a lover of music, art, people, and the world around me! Join me on the journey as I share with you my thoughts, dreams, passions, and experiences!

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