amo.says

my life in my words

Girls Like Us

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Happy Mother’s Day to all you incredible mommies out there!

 

*ahem* Oh Mommmmmmmm ;)

*ahem* Oh Mommmmmmmm 😉

 

You are serious champions and I hope you realize that you deserve WAY more than one day to truly celebrate all that you are!! (And that’s the facts, Jack!)

 

Happy Mother’s Day to my Mama!!

 

QUESTION: What’s the sweetest thing you’ve done for your mom to celebrate her on her special day? If you’re a mom, what is the sweetest thing your hubby and kiddos have done for you to celebrate you on Mother’s Day?

 

Happy Mother's Day to my Stepmom!!

Happy Mother’s Day to my Stepmom!!

 

I’m pretty sure the sweetest thing I ever gave my mom was grey hairs. Honestly, I was not a kind kid. I rarely did nice things for my mom, and in an honest moment, I rarely even said anything nice to my mom. She’s endured a lot of grief in raising me. Growing up a defiant, stubborn, kid with a full-fledged middle child personality, I stirred up a lot of trouble for her. Not many nowadays would believe me, but it was not entirely uncommon for me to hit my mother, call her harsh names, and cause embarrassing scenes on purpose in public places. Combine that with other drama contributions from my brother and sister, I’m surprised my mother didn’t put us in a cardboard box with kittens on a corner free for the taking.

 

Happy Mother's Day to my Stepsisters!!

Happy Mother’s Day to my Stepsisters!!

 

Some girls are lucky enough to have a best friend in their mother. That just wasn’t the case for me. My mother and I rarely saw eye-to-eye, and I was really good at holding grudges. Part of it was the emotional stress of my parent’s divorce when I was in the 5th grade. Part of it was inner turmoil from a sad chain of events that ripped my childhood away from me. Part of it was a lack of ability to effectively communicate with my parents about what was really going on inside of my head and my heart. As I’ve grown older and slightly more mature, I notice more and more just how much she did for me. I wish that I could take back all the horrible things I did and said to her, but I can’t. But if I could go back in time to verbalize what I meant to say when the word vomit spewed out in my adolescent years, this is what I would say:

 

Momma, when I said “Leave me alone!” what I meant was, “I feel alone and I need you more than ever.” When I said, “You’re SO mean!” what I meant was, “I don’t like being disciplined even though I know I need to be.” When I said, “So-and-so’s mom would let me if she was my mom.” what I meant was, “No she wouldn’t either. You’re right.” When I said, “You are ruining my life!” what I meant was, “I’m ruining my life and I don’t know how to ask you for help.” When I said, “I hate you!” what I meant was, “I hate the person I’m becoming. You’re actually the best thing that ever happened to me and I don’t know what I would do without you.” When I said, “You never listen to me.” what I meant was, “I never let you listen to me because I’m so busy taking out all my hurt and anger on you.” When I said, “Stop worrying about me.” what I meant was, “I hate to make you worry. I’ve already made you suffer enough. I just want you to be happy.” When I said, “I love you. You are beautiful and I’m glad you’re my mom.” what I meant was, “I love you. You are beautiful and I’m glad you’re my mom.” 

 

I share this because I know that there are many other moms out there who feel like their child doesn’t appreciate them and that the fights are more frequent than the hugs. They feel that they are unwanted, unnecessary, and that they are failing as parents. Let me tell you, you can feel like the “World’s Worst Mom,” but the fact that you are sticking around, fully present, ready and waiting for the moment when your son or daughter will come back to your open arms automatically makes you the “World’s Greatest Mom.” At the end of the day, we just want to know that no matter how far away we run; no matter how much we fight back; no matter how independent we claim to be—we are still forever welcome in your safe, loving arms, and tender caress. There will come a time where your child will finally be able to step back and see the bigger picture of your sacrifice, your endless tears, prayers, and dreams for their future. Sometimes we take the scenic route to get there—and that’s not your fault—we just do. However, when we get there, our eyes are opened and we come face-to-face with the truth that we’ve always known deep down inside: You are our unsung heroes and one of our most prized possessions. Thank you a million times a million, times a gazillion bazillion quadrillion, times infinity and beyond!

 

Happy Mother’s Day to my Sister!!

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Author: Amanda Martinez

I am a mexican chick, born in Germany, raised in Austin, TX, and now currently living in Seattle, WA. I am a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a friend, a graphic designer, a youth pastor, a comedienne, a songwriter, a screenwriter, and a lover of music, art, people, and the world around me! Join me on the journey as I share with you my thoughts, dreams, passions, and experiences!

4 thoughts on “Girls Like Us

  1. I am sooooo proud of you Mandy, you’ve really grown up. I love my kids so much.

  2. Love you Mandy.
    I am so blessed to have 8 beautiful children. I know God is so proud of you. He sent you to Seattle on a mission and you were obedient and went. I am sure at times thinking “am I crazy for coming all the way to Seattle, did He really call me here?” But you held on to you faith and strength in Him and you have come out victorious. Just look at you. I believe director of youth ministry at your church right?, so slim and healthy and beautiful. God bless you Mandy. We all love you.

    • Thank you SO much for the sweet words, Cindy!! It’s been a long and crazy road, but learning to navigate them is getting a bit easier. 🙂

      At my church I’m the Children’s Director (babies-high school) and the Youth Pastor (jr. high-high school) 😀 Bless you mucho mucho!!

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